I don’t give my other kids enough credit 💙
I’m immensely proud beyond words of my older two children they are 16 and 11 and have taken oscars diagnosis and the challenges it brings and change to our lives completely in their stride , not only that they are his two biggest fans , to think how well established we were as a family before Oscar, Orla was just starting secondary school and Lorcan had started year 1 , Orla the performer who lead our diary with her dance school shows, festivals, and auditions through her agent in London, and Lorcan the baby of the family has us all eating from the palm of his hand , when I told them I was having another baby I just put the scan photo on the desk and said what’s that?? , Orla knew 💙but Lorcan let out a huge YEESSSSSS 🎉🎉🎉were getting a new puppy! So the journey began, a difficult pregnancy I was measuring 45 weeks by 32 I had way too much water, a breech baby with the cord around his neck , not to mention I was the actual size of a bus! I couldn’t really fit in the car by the end .
They soon adapted to having a baby brother, both so proud of him and he seemed to just slot in, he soon developed the nickname robobaby as he literally ate and slept, or sat starring into space, very little demand , didn’t dislike attention but didn’t demand it either ,he ate and slept well , he presented as a well developing baby until around 9 months old, no concerns at all , he fell backwards from a chair and knocked himself out for 45 minutes, whilst in France literally the worst day of my life I will never forget it ,he was seen in hospital and had concusion, I honestly feel this was the turning point for him, he literally changed after that he wasn’t as knowing I felt and then our journey began 💙
im not sure and will never know if it was his headbang, that caused the autism or related issues he has and maybe he was born like it , it’s nice to think I could blame that however guilt would then be attached, to that for me as I couldn’t catch him , maybe I just didn’t notice before I suppose I will never know , but for his siblings our lives gradually changed dramatically but slowly and I’m so proud of them, as they adapted and do so even now , Orla’s managed to sit her GCSES, get good grades she maintains a place at Westend kids performing troupe in London and attends a musical theatre corse and full time stage school at college, Lorcan has started year 7 he’s very sensitive and a lovely funny boy he’s adjusted so well .
there adaptability has been outstanding our family is very different, there’s less freedom we’re are dictated too by autism, but they make the best of it , they are both great advocates for anyone with special needs and both talk openly, about Oscar growing up and the parts they plan to play in his life, and his care, to them he is equal but different he is special but the sky’s the limit , I love there outlook . 💙💙💙💙
as a parent of 16 yrs 11yrs,5 yrs which was the worst family planning in the entire world , I’m mindful of Orla becoming a young adult and needing a mentor, boys are off the menu for how much longer! She’s maturing the worlds not as kind as she thinks it is .
lorcan aged 11 fortnight obsessed , fruit dodging typical boy very loving ,also needs a mentor , both have learned when it’s time to step back, no words needed both consider what Brendan and I face, and are helpful they are also very loving to Oscar even when he’s not always so loving back ! And I really feel growing up with autism ,which can take you prisoner unless you set the rules , it can actually make you more flexible in thinking and more tolerant also , I feel there are huge benefits for them but also Oscar, he has two advocates and friends for life which for a mum to know is everything, as who knows if we will ever make friends , but it is hard on them I know this, and I’m mindful that they also get enough time with Oscar , also time out together to maintain there strong bond, time with all of us together is very precious and I feel they need one to one time with each of us also , that’s a lot of time to manage !!!!when we have so little , that’s why I plan ahead plan well and always have a back up plan and keep everyone emotionally fed 💙
Oscar has a very autism aware extended family ,also and a very close group of cousins on both sides that are amazing supports to him and, Orla and Lorcan I hope they remain close always 💙
for me my therapy is this blog, networking with other parents ( I love people) and I chat to everyone, I feel kindness is free and encourage my children to be kind to others at all costs 💙
work with what you have people💙
Write your own story💙
Orla and like an take any affection they can get from Oscar it’s very rare💙it makes photos like this super special