The walking wounded
I know sounds dramatic right? But everywhere I look more and more I can see broken full hearts , continuing with there day to day life , everyone has a story, every family has a sad story, but for some reason I can see pain and angst , I see it in your eyes I have a radar for it ,I look at the person and I can almost see into their soul and I relate , these are the people that carry the worry and sadness of a parent of a disabled child or young person , and it’s so important that we raise autism awareness ,awareness of disabilities more than ever, some people me included have fought a war just to get out of the house in the morning , kindness is the cure , do I deserve the impatient lady screaming at me from her car? No I do not , do I wish she was more considerate , yes? Do I secretly wish she would just for a second feel my morning stress just to put hers in perspective ? Yes? Does she know I’ve literally had a WWE battle just to dress my child and had hair ripped out? No , would she behave differently? when I’m not pulling out of a turn quick enough! Because she’s having a school run meltdown? Maybe! Or maybe she’s just an arse hole who I wish could get the shits! And run out of loo roll😂
The point is there’s always arseholes everywhere, I’ve acted like one probably in the past but I do have the realms of consideration for others, and i do think about that and I think there is always more good than bad , the bad has a bigger impact that’s all, and I do try and look for the good in people and I think we can encourage it too with more awareness for disabilities, and consider the fact that some parents have much more on there shoulders than others , being kind is totally free too☺️
when you share pain with someone or the same endurance test at least , even if you don’t know this person you have an instant connection, that’s the best bit about being a parent of a child with a disability , it can remove you from the outside world , well Autism can do that anyway , it slowly very slowly makes your life more ridged and smaller socially, so you become almost isolated there’s comfort in knowing you have that hidden connection and understanding with other parents, who can totally relate to your feelings as they feel it too .
ive been secretly hoping for the past few years that a leprechaun might jump out with some bubbly a couple of balloons maybe, and tell me I’ve passed the test!or gone up a level ,but it’s not a game of jumanji it’s real life, no prizes no rewards presented, you need to look for them yourself and reward yourself, always recognise your own achievements and learn to give yourself a break .
so to that mum / dad wrestling a small child in the playground , getting into the car, a child is fighting you for nothing, refuses to wear clothes, smacks you in the face if you get too close, people are looking!!! you feel judged you feel the need to explain , Dont as I am you also and I see you , I feel your struggles and we have to own it , we can’t go public swimming, cinema , out for dinner either not because of fear of judgment but because we pick our battles and if it’s too difficult we don’t do it, why? because I’ve recognised my child can’t cope that’s why and ,Because it’s autism’s game but it’s our rules right?
For now we have to choose small mountains to climb , ones that have targets we can reach and celebrate them, everything is a big deal, a new word , a new dance, good looking, good listening, nice walking , I’m pouring in confidence at this stage he doesn’t understand pride yet but I will make sure he knows his worth , he is amazing .
So for those parents and care givers that relate , im not in your boat , but I have an identical one and I’m sailing by your side 💙 if I wobble steady me , and I will be there to steady you also 💙
We will always be behind him💙