Autism doesn’t care what day it is!
We woke Christmas Day usual routines in place, coz if you start the day on the wrong foot , sometimes you any make it good again and the whole day is written off, in the past oscar has gone to bed upset and woken up the next day still upset , same goes for if he wakes up wrong , it can revisit him throughout the day we’re he will feel sad/ angry and he’s unable to let things go he hold grudges , christmas morning no exception .
That’s hard when you have other kids and there excited particularly ,my 11 year old he was so excited to go downstairs and check if Santa had been , he woke first around 6 am I was already up doing oscars breakfast set up and medication I heard his little foot steps so I said come check if he’s been then, he had already been up to his sisters room, he ran down to check then went back up to open his stocking with her they love to share that bit just them, which is lovely .
I then carefully went in to Oscar which can be a baptism of fire! He had really struggled since school term finished and woke badly every morning , he had been waking screaming wet through mostly, so it included him and the bed being stripped , which added to the stress that he just didn’t want to get up his routine was gone he hadn’t adjusted, and he just was completely resistant, Christmas Day no exception to that he woke slow not interested in his stocking screaming no Christmas , the stocking was put outside the door ,I had to forcefully lift him he wasn’t helping me at all , once he was up and changed he started to come round , Orla and lorcan were present but stood back until he gave them the signal he was ready to be approached , he took about half an hour to come round he was then ready to interact with people , we were able to begin Christmas for the other kids , Oscar started joining us after around half an hour .
How we wakes effects the whole day for the whole family , it doesn’t matter if it’s Christmas, Birthday or special occasion , when it’s hard on a normal day ,celebrations are harder as everything’s different, the routines gone , everything feels strange and for Oscar has he works so hard just to regulate himself to manage a normal day ,I just keep thinking how hard he works to regulate himself in general and how high his anxiety rate must have been off the scale this Christmas all because of CHANGE !
On the hole everybody had a great day on Christmas Day and again Boxing Day ,but I have really noticed oscars inability to process more than one word, in times of anxiety , which is understandable but because we encounter other people who don’t have as much understanding , it’s when you then behaviour to suit which is him attempting to regulate himself, and more and more I just want to shut the world out ,as when it’s just us at home to coped so much better , but you want to step out of that bubble also as a family, and visit the grandparents and let your other kids experience Christmas like they used to with cousins , but it’s so tricky it really is , I packed Oscars day bag lots of comforts , his food, his drinks we arrive the tv is put on for him and a little area just for him his safe spot but-its people in general , they mean well but you just want to scream leave him alone , stop talking to him , hes adjusting , he doesnt want the gift yet , he’s happy left, I think that’s the most important part it looks like your ignoring him, but he’s happy knowing your just there he can’t regulate to a new environment and listen to the too many words your giving him, then ontop of that your giving him a gift! Now he’s loosing control and someone says what’s the matter with him?, it makes me want to run home , it’s really really hard work as in those situations it hits you just how much you do have to go through as an autism family , and you feel so guilty for your other kids , at moments they really don’t get a look in , in other areas you are concious that you must savour the time you can steal with them.
so in all it was a lovely structured Christmas , a bit on egg shells at points, but dinner for ten went well , crackers were opened , drinks were poured , gifts opened and fun had even played dinner games , Oscar wouldn’t take part in dinner but that’s fine he was given a taster at his table with his toast( which is currently all he will eat) and he opened his gifts in his own time which is also fine , it’s important that if he opens a book and wants to sit and read it straight away, that he’s not rushed as the chances are if that became negative, and he was rushed he may not ever touch that particular book again, Oscar did Christmas his own way which included getting as many of his old toys out all over the lounge as possible, with the new toys are they are his comfort!
And a few moments in between but I’m thankful .
I think the term most used this Christmas is
TOO MUCH INFORMATION 💙
always mindful to allow time for my sons Autism , I’m proud of him he’s done amazing
Three wise monkeys