I have a bit of anxiety about my kids getting older I worry for them , the world is cruel in many ways ,Oscar will be the most protected one as hand on heart, I can honestly say as long as there’s breath in me he wont leave our home he can stay here forever , I have accepted the fact that not all my children will grow up and leave home, allowing us to make plans in retirement and truth be told good I’m glad of that , letting him go would be the hardest as he is vulnerable, how do you measure that if you can’t see him? Also having a special needs family, I believe makes you closer your other children have an added reason to come back once flown , and if you love your kids you must set them free, it’s their life not yours but it’s hard as a mum to let go.
Today is all about my daughter she’s 17 she got her first car, and enters now a new phase of her life, I’m sad it flew by ,her childhood but I’m super proud of her also and she is an amazing person and advocate for her younger brothers also for diversity in general ,She plans to leave home in 2020 to attend college in London , dont even get me started!!, don’t even go there!!! my heart is already broken I can’t cope , it’s ages away right?
Today we celebrate her being a great person and Oscar loves a celebration, he woke in a good mood, he’s loving the decorations and balloons, and enjoying his sister being around, so today is bittersweet, but I’m so happy as she’s so amazing and I took part in that , she’s a result of our hard work, which gets me thinking about Autism, milestones and birthdays , delay and progress .
We must celebrate all the smallest things with Autism, they are not given and you are reminded, age is really only a number as development hardly correlates with chronological age, but that’s something you are aware of and have accepted, as an Autism parent , so today I celebrate my daughters 17 th birthday and on que she begins driving lessons now and got a car , for my son also he will following would imagine, but for Oscar this won’t be , I think non Autistic parenting is a bit pre written there are expectations with certain ages ,16 can legally buy a lottery ticket, 17 can legally drive, 18 can go out partying and we all follow suit or feel pressure to do so , are we sheep? For autism milestones we make our own, my son will be dry out of nappies when he is ready, the same for sleeping in a big boy bed ,and the same for riding a bike ect ect ,we dont realise we are putting pressure on our kids to meet these, when development should be about their capabilities and as we have no choice but to view it about this with Oscar, it’s given me a different perspective .
Oscars birthdays are to celebrate his life, and how amazing he is in general, no chronological targets to meet, we make our own way, and there’s no expectations we celebrate everything, for my neurotypical kids I think society does put pressure on them, and I can’t help thinking who’s actually better off here! It’s a good question , oscars world is pretty safe !