A whole brand new year
Well what will this year bring us ? So far two days in we have been super crap with bedtimes, and have missed the window of opportunity for tiredness and had a second wind till 8 ,and then have gone up willingly but been very excited and had a little party for one until we pass out !!! which isn’t the end of the world today or tomorrow, but with school looming next week, I really need to get that order back, this is a child who is in bed by 635pm and asleep 9/10 times by 7 pm so I’m really lacking here he loves his kip but it’s all about timing .
I'm hoping the start of the year won’t be a reflection of my spending this year a resolution I intended on keeping!!!! was spend less make more! I hardly think a new dining room table and chairs plus a unit is keeping that! But now Oscar is getting older I do want nice things ,I don’t want everything to be odd , ruined broken as if he’s almost allowed to sabotage things , obviously safety is a huge feature and we won’t be too precious but I used to have a really lovely home before, and I’d like to be proud of it again, I am proud still but I have stopped caring about too much about if things get broken , almost as if it’s ok and that’s not the case at all, and makes it hard if we visit other homes as , it’s really not ok to hang from a sound bar or bang a tv screen ! I think that’s something all Autism parents have in common, we feel we can’t take pride in stuff ,as to Autistic kids ,especially younger kids ,it’s just stuff and it’s ok to throw just stuff around , nothings off limits .
Back to my bad habits!
With Orlas birthday looming I have to spend money! I then get the bug and can’t stop, I’m also taking her to London this weekend it won’t be cheap , she’s my daughter after all !!!! So I’m thinking and this isn’t fibbing here! I’m thinking be more realistic and start on Monday 7 th jan, I really intend on being more economical this year , we don’t need anything goods wise and I literally feel like that’s all I have done lately spend spend spend , nothing on me and yeh life’s expensive, but I feel I need a detox , it’s a little harder when you have a child that struggles to play as you feel you need to provide all the sensory expensive toys, just in the hope they help him , anything sensory is double the price at least!
So we’re going to sort through our old toys donate to the hospital, and keep what we play with and build on that as I think I’m overloading him maybe with too much .
January is going to be scary and exciting, as with huge strides with speech and understanding, we have decided to take weekly private speech therapy using his DLA allowance, what a better way to help him and it’s totally for him that allowance, I feel it’s a good choice , but scared as we begin exploring what causes his abscences and seizures, which could be a can of worms I’m not ready for, heartbreaking and involving invasive tests and a brain scan , this is going to require my super mum powers and a heart of ice , for me when things are tough I shut my emotions off, deal with the situation at hand and try and view it in a medical manner and process it after it’s the only way I get through it .
I'm hoping we have to do the tests once and it’s easy, and we get the results we need to move forward ,( I know a lot right?)anything less than this is distressing for him pointless and tests his trust in me , I’m his person , his go too I need him to trust me , I do feel doctors loose that bit in translation so I will be there to remind them .