Born Anxious logo Black.jpg

Born Anxious is a homegrown clothing label with two objectives, to make the clothes as comfortable as possible, whilst also remaining planet friendly, and to hold important information that will aim to help not only the child, but also the caregiver as well when required. As an autism mum myself, I have thought about what could help me and other caregivers whilst trying to be as generic as possible within the designs, alongside giving those the opportunity to personalise their products as well.

We have hit Christmas overload already!

We have hit Christmas overload already!

we have no tree up yet, not a decoration in sight and it’s a little early this year but, bang on que Oscar is totally overloaded by Christmas, he’s so sensitive to our home and his learning environment that even the slightest change to anything and he’s overloaded , sensory overload is not fun! It’s hell ,it brings the worst out in your child and you have to work extra hard to try and regulate them , Oscar has little regulation skills and where  Christmas is concerned I’m afraid he has zero.

last year we ended his term on the 10 th of December as he was so out of control and so violent in his specialist nursery that the teacher said the chair throwing display was Britain’s got talent worthy ! And although I wasn’t ready for Christmas at all,I had to just say it’s too much someone’s going to get hurt, so he ended his term   , it was an Amazon Christmas ! but that was optional education he is now in compulsory education and the kids are wobbling all over the place Oscar included , there’s a different tempo in the air there’s more traffic it’s just busy everywhere and he doesn’t like it one bit .

every year for the last two at least , we have got the decorations down in a bucket all sensory no breakables ,and let him play with them for a week or so then we get the fake tree down and just leave it out up not decorated ,then once he’s adjusted the kids decorate it , which to be fair after a day looks like it’s been used as a broom for the floor so we don’t make too much effort.

 We got a fake tree last year as we  have had real ones , but Oscar is so strong he was dragging it fully decorated, including iron stand out to the door, as I suppose in his mind trees belong  outside, he loves trees he hugs them ,must be weird for him there’s a tree in the room and it’s got things hanging on it!

In truth if Oscar was an only child, I think I would ignore Christmas, well the decorating bit I would , if we ease Oscar in to Christmas gently  over a couple of weeks he is accepting of it and enjoys it ,but it’s a slow pace, he might want to open gifts ,he might want to get all his old toys out like he did last year there’s no pressure, it’s fine we ease new toys in , I’m also this year wrapping up all toys out of the boxes and working, as the waiting is too much, and I’m pacing him one toy or gift an hour , I’m also wrapping up some familiar toys he knows too so he feels safe while opening , familiarity is everything .

so I’m hoping not as I had hoped he would have built up a little more tolerance for Christmas this year like he has birthdays , but we could have got to  our limit!!!  Plus there’s more birthdays and we love to celebrate birthdays , on Christmas Day Oscar usually has a major meltdown usually as I’m serving dinner , last year I had served but had Oscar in the lounge with the doors closed when he was calm and I went back in , everybody had eaten and I had to eat on my own ! Yeh cheers guys! But it was a situation where he wasn’t happy about having people here but he was single handily ruining it for everyone through no fault of his own , plus I didn’t mind too much I had eaten so many pigs in blankets whilst cooking I actually felt a bit sick!!! I’m also really aware that people shout at Christmas! Why? Oscar will just scream even louder over the top of you ! To calm him down I had the stick man on volume 50 it was like he couldn’t hear it otherwise he did eventually calm down with that . 

Theres one saving grace and I’ve done myself a little favour here ,Oscar takes anti anxiety medication and should have gone up to 7.5 ml ,when he went up for epilim due to weight but because the 5 ml was working we decided not to give him an extra 2.5 ml until he needed it , so if tomorrow consists of today’s behaviours which have been head butting the floor so hard today his teeth bleed , being very very overexcited to the point of out of control, and screaming the next , repeating everything I say in a high pitched scream, refusing to eat anything at all, being very non compliant  , very agitated not wanting me near him and attacking ,but then coming to get me to attack me again , wanted someone to sit next to him but your not allowed to move or he hits you , then if that’s tomorrow, which is sensory overload caused by anxiety then I’m raising his dose! 

Theres no way on earth my other kids can tolerate Oscar how he’s been today for two/ three more weeks . 

It’s  hard to think not all my children enjoy Christmas the same my eldest two really love Christmas, and we have many traditions and they get all Christmassy and love the goodies and food and Christmas pjs, and I still read them the night before Christmas to them which they know by heart,  and  i do a Christmas stocking , Santa is very real in our house and they love Christmas tv together after we leave Santa’s tray on the fire ,and it really hurts to think Oscar doesn’t understand any of that and for him it brings negative things , but that’s how it is for us and we have adapted and will Continue to adapt , we dont stop any of those things but we have that time once he is in bed 💙

to be continued......      


Oscar is always super happy when Christmas is done and it’s his sisters birthday  

I may appear to have my sh*t together, but.....

I may appear to have my sh*t together, but.....

Adjusting to new routines

Adjusting to new routines