What I would give to just have one actual conversation with my non verbal child 💙
I just had 24 hrs break in London with my girl and boy did we cram it all in , I’m more tired than I usually am with shopping and musicals and nail painting, and walking a lot carrying heavy bags ,but it’s time needed and so important to be me again, the selfish me that only worry’s about what I’m choosing to eat , but the other worry’s are never to far from the surface as time Out allows you to be Reflective , and being so busy day to do physically and emotionally you dont get time to sit and think , this weekend I’ve done a little evaluation of Oscar , where we are at , we’re we need to be in terms of progress and planning ,and I will happily say we’re on the right track , progress is set by him but I can control timings and the level of therapy, and our general attitude towards it ,which does rub off on him , and I’m really happy with how it’s going and how he’s responding ,never in a million years would I have thought I would be preparing his bag to begin toilet training at school, but yes🎉that’s where we are at and it’s just proof that you have to set the scene for progress then step back and they come into their own , Oscar may never fully toilet train but whatever level we get too ,if we are moving forward that’s fine by me .
In an ideal word I’d love to have just one conversation with him , is he happy?, am I doing an ok job as his main career?, what would he like changed? Is there anything he would really really like , ect ect just a little peek into how he is feeling and if he’s happy , Just one conversation then we can carry on as we are , it’s so very frustrating when you have a preverbal child , as the world assumes they have nothing to say! but you know as there mum/ caregiver just how much they want to say and the behaviour and frustrations are all part of it .
Just because someone doesn’t talk doesn’t mean they have nothing to say and I do read the signals as much as possible with Oscar, provide the visual clues , social stories but I think as his mum I will always have the fantasy in my head that he is verbal, and chatting away like most other five year olds he’s so cheeky and adorable and I would love to see the full extent of his little personality, and I bet he wouldn’t stop for breath, that’s my vision of him anyway , my cheeky spirited boy who can’t organise or control his emotions , they take over him and they are heightened .
I think many Autism parents develop a different level of if it’s not not ok ,with their kids , I certainly have , Oscar can make some noises were I know he’s very happy but to others that do not know him ,he could sound hurt or in distress , I think that’s a skill we develop and the term ‘it’s ok happy noises ‘is used a lot in our house , while Oscar is screaming out he sounds upset but he’s expressing himself, when he isn't ok we really know about it , and then you always know it’s unquestionable , you just know. 🌟
And who’s to say Oscar won’t develop the skill of speech with his mouth, he already communicates in many other ways but I would love to have a conversation with him that’s two way , I cuddle him squeeze him tell him I love him he beams and hugs back, when the mood takes him , he's never said I love you but I know he does , he says a few words usually copying the TV or things he has heard , so I have kind of heard his voice but I just really would love to know what his voice is like as well , somethings he says sound pre recorded or American.
speech is something that’s a huge barrier for Oscar and many other Autistic children, at this time due to his age we are unsure if it is his global delay or Autism , speech delay can catch up which I’m hopeful for , but many Autistic children they don’t ever develop understanding of language, or unlock speech which is why I’m putting everything into his therapy in his early years to give him all the chances .💙💙
where my son is concerned there will be no chance left u turned 😉