So surreal to be able to accept invitations to birthday parties
In times past if oscar has ever been invited to a birthday party we decline , and the sad fact is it’s only ever been family! But the reality is we haven’t accepted until now as the logistics dont work for my child with complex Autism so I dont accept, I’m honest and decline unless it’s at a family members house here’s why.
That’s a lie actually he did attend one party for someone in his class at nursery at a local sensory garden ,,as soon as we got there and he had done one lap he wanted out !
Birthday parties are everything my child can not cope with all at the same time , people, noise, unpredictability of the entire situation and fear , so in the past when getting an invitation, I’m always honest and say we’re not ready for parties sorry, because I know he won’t cope with it .
Birthday parties for neurotypical children still carry anxiety and over excitement, so when you expose a SEN child to that and ,add the fact there not able to regulate how they feel, it fails and as parents you start to choose your battles and that isolates you and them , but as tolerances grow you can slowly add things back in , perhaps backward chain events go to the final 15 minutes of a party for the singing and party bag bit leave before anything turns sour, to build a positive association to the event .
oscar has been to failed birthday parties simply because he’s been too overwhelmed he’s also been to the end of birthday party’s for singing and party bags which has given him positive memories , we did try attending parties but once it was clear after a couple of epic fails he wasn’t coping we avoided them , and it’s not nice at the time to admit that you have totally misjudged the situation and shouldn’t have attempted it , we have come a long way in 5 years and as parents of Oscar we are both pretty good at measuring what he can/ can’t cope with as we are mindful to not isolate him ,and let him explore his Autism and not be shielded from everything as he wouldn’t ever experience anything .
I think Oscar links birthday celebrations with being home the decorations, balloons , cake ect , whenever I bake a cake he says happy birthday❤️❤️❤️And he loves family over birthday gatherings and singing Happy Birthday which he joins in .
Today oscar will attend his cousins birthday celebrations in a sports arena , he did last year and enjoyed the free play element, but not the transitioning to another room for food so we left ,at this point before party tables started flippping over! today’s a big deal we have accepted the invitation , we have party clothes, we have wrapped the gift and written the card and there being left alone ,could oscar have finally cracked it and understands that other people have birthdays too?its not his party , it’s not his gift ?😶
so we are back now from the party we lasted 45 minutes and left when the party room was closed and it was time to move into the food room which was noisy and cramped , Oscar left having had a positive experience some running around and bouncy castles and I think he knew it was a birthday party so a triumph for him😄
It was lovely for me to get him dressed up for a party he looked so handsome 💙