I've had to remind my teenagers I'm not super human
Lately both my older children seem to be pushing it with me and their dad , they both get enough time with either us and ample family time perhaps not enough time with both of us, separately , but we're an Autism house!!!!! perhaps divided at points, purely because of the age divide, they are excellent with their brother, I couldn't want more from them, but with this in mind, I think I do too much for them ,I know I do ,I have mumming down😀 not phased by a challenge, to be proactive, if they have an issue or need anything, me and dad sort it, but I think they do need to understand that there both at ages where they should be considering Us and the fact they we are not super human despite acting like it?but more than this I feel I'm deskilling them sometimes.
We're very open and approachable to our kids very close knit ,but we are not their friends, my fear is they will grow up to not have enough independence skills and be unmotivated ,they both also need to develop a work ethic, as there very fortunate, so I feel we brush up now develop good routines . I think it's all part of the mum guilt thing, I'm aware were are not a 2.4 household but I want them to be well rounded and have to work for stuff rather than everything on hand and foot to make up for the fact that in many ways they are young carers .
So with this in mind as they return from school complaining its been a heavy term I get that, but I don't think it's too much, to expect then to ask how I am? How my days been? That's not selfish they are so good with oscar and I know they consider others, we promote kindness as a family they have adopted that, but with teenagers thinking they know everything its always good to remind them, they do not!
This isnt always met with warm responses!!!!!I want them to develop good people skills and don't assume ,Mum and dad are ok ,there always ok? And I want them to be more helpful, if there are able to do something themselves then do that, make the drink? Offer others, pick up washing etc etc because we're heading for 6 weeks together and it can be intense!
I had mixed reviews 😂one child thought I was accusing them of those things!!!!! and that there not doing them at all!!!!! and the other one didn't care, I just said it's down to this , I've had a hard day too!!!! so stop complaining, my son said HOW? I said well I get tired too I'm not superhuman,I'm just like you, bless his heart he said ARE YOU? Which is nice to think he thought I'm not! In a way but let's get real its game time, Now the last thing I would ever do is tell my kids how I really feel! The stress I feel, borderline depressed at some points, regarding the lack of support, the constant fight for that support, how I go all day sometimes not speaking to a soul and that bring a special.needs parent is lonely, but with all of this on my shoulders and actually feeling a bit emotionally abandoned at points, I do feel strongly that children should not have adult worries on there shoulders, but that doesn't mean you cant have those conversations that remind them there not alone in feeling warn out and needing a rest sometimes, for me there's no point in moaning to your Kids ,which is ultimately is selfish and teaching them a good way to be social and care about others, they are kind, however they do tend to overlook me! And they are old enough to give this mum a break this summer I feel, perhaps it will be a learning curve, to let go of the control a bit and allow them to be more independent and they learn to look after there mummy! After all I'm defiantly living with one of them when I'm old so they need to practice, I literally can't wait to rock up make a mess, eat all there biscuits and leave!
I think by talking to them about this it will improve the summer, as boundaries are there and also it reduces the mum guilt that I'm perhaps spoiling them to make up for the fact that Oscar takes so much Main stage time,, hopefully there confidences will grow, independence skills will grow also and I feel less lazy in my parenting style which is pretty easy-going, that's partly as I'm now wired to be on egg shells around Oscar and avoid meltdowns were possible just to keep the peace, and the same goes for my teenagers, because Oscar can be so unpredictable I avoid any situations that I can, but it's time to start changing that, hopefully we all benefit 💙💙💙