Oscar doesn't get invited to many parties not because people leave him out ,because he's a social hazard! And by that i mean he has the potential to have a venue on lock down if his mood takes him, will hit the birthday child and dismantle the cake! Open the gifts, none of that if anything anyone in my circle encourages his inquizativness and urgency to explore the world with the tact of a T REX!
He doesn't get invited to many parties because he doesn't have many social experiences outside the saftey bubble we have chosen to be in, special school, small classes means not really a big social circle, by this age Orla and Lorcan would have after school clubs with friends there seemed to be. So many parties.!!!!!!!outside clubs means they double or even triple the social opportunities for parties and playdates, this doesn't suit Oscar far too many RULES for him, he doesn't tend to have those options because he requires a sports club or as such, to cater for his neurodiversity, we have attempted these clubs catered for everyone and although he was welcome, he becomes lost and his anxiety levels raise, he once attended baby ballet it was fine a few times but I quickly noticed he as attached to the class he wasn't included as he excluded himself due to his own interests within the set task, and would want to run around the room in the opposite direction for the sensory feedback, it started to get dangerous it was a bit like ten pin bowling but with people do we had to stop going
I'm aware as he grows these tolerances will also and they will become more suitable for him there is also more available for SEN kids as they get older and our local disability service caters heavily for children from around age 7.
Because these clubs open up a new social scene for mums too and kids we can get lonely sometimes, and we rely on family to include our special needs kids at every opportunity, which of course he is ,but it isn't the same, but with the same breath it is ok to not have friends if you don't need them.
With school finishing this month and is at having been with 8 of his class, at honey bears nursery and MSU preschool since the age of 2 now to be split this September, due to ability and three children moving to more suitable schools, from September? we do all face new challenges, and fear for change and it's happening real soon, so I wanted to throw them all. a huge party to all be together one last time and capture the moment in time .
And we did just that a giant inflatable in the garden perfect weather, a paddling pool, camps teepee's tents and bikes, we Invited the entire class and teachers, it was an amazing afternoon of celebration and acceptance, it was a real success, one mum attending with her two Autistic children hadnt been to another Childs house to play by invitation EVER! So it really was a coming together, there were lots of mums and dads darting about all over the place minimising every possible situation and the whole afternoon for 15 children on the spectrum went smoothly.
And no it wasn't a birthday party it as Oscars party which he gave invites out for, it was a celebration of everything our amazing children have achieved this year, to thank the teachers who have helped them ,and for the parents to gather and support each other, it won't be the same next year but it was the perfect ending
And it was extra special to give out the invitations Oscar doesn't get many invitations so it was lovely to be able to give them out ,and receive replies and even lovelier to think those parents can note down in their diary, that there child had a party to attend, something of a rarity for my darling Oscar, so it was really really special.